Thursday, 28 March 2013

Big Brother Canada Recap of Week 5

Recap of Live Feeds (Spoilers)

Emmett wins POV

Recap of Episode 12 - Sunday, March 24, 2013: It's Like a Maze in Here!

Well isn't everything just peachy keen now that the loathsome pair of Tom and Liza are out of there? Sounds like a good excuse for a party. And look there... in the storage room, convenient! A Big Brother drop and beer. Perhaps Big Brother thought that if Talla gets plastered again she might give Peter, AJ or Andrew another lap dance. No such luck. But they do play a game of Spin the Bottle. Okay. What person over the age of 12 plays Spin the Bottle? Just cut to the chase and play some strip poker. Wait a minute. This is looking kind of funny after all. Andrew gives Gary and AJ some big ones. Maybe he has found his inner glitter. Things get really interesting when Topaz and Talla kiss with perhaps a little extra show for the boys. AJ permanently filed that picture away for future use. He says it's all that he can see when he closes his eyes. He closes his eyes. "Ooops, there it is". Peter says it was "a mish-mash of eroticism in there".

Strategy wise, this week we see Alec and Peter plotting over who the next target should be. Apparently they have had enough of Suzette and her inappropriate comments, emotional outbursts, non-motivating life advice and persistent ass-kissing. Sounds good to me!!! Alec tells Peter, ...that Topaz said, ...that Suzette said, ...she thinks Alec and Peter are the real masterminds of the house. Phew. No shit Suzette! Now Suzette wants to put up Peter and Alec for eviction, if she ever wins HOH. So now Alec and Peter want Suzette gone because there is always the slim, 1,000,000 to 1 odds that Suzette might win an HOH challenge. And we can't have that. She's got to go. And they will put up AJ as a pawn....again. Peter says everyone deserves a second chance...but three? Canada can't save her again.

So why do I have this nagging feeling that the producers are planning some new twist and will save Suzette again? Geez. Enough already Big Brother...cut her lose. Please.

We also learn that Emmett now sees Jillian as his closest ally now that Tom has left the building. So it looks as though he has given up on Peter and Alec and the remains of the Quatro.

The HGs are all called outside where they find a plexiglass maze and look, it's a brand new car!!! Yep, its time for the new Head of Household Competition. This week they must navigate through the maze and collect the first number of the addresses of 4 of Canada's landmarks. This forms a code which they must use to get the key to open the door of the Chevy Trax, then honk the horn. Is it just me, or are these comps getting a bit confusing? Well at the very least they are long-winded. Besides becoming the new HOH, the winner gets 10,000 bucks and an "extra" reward. Hmmn. Wonder what that will be? It can't be the car...this is Canada after all. Alec and Peter don't plan on winning HOH because that just leads to jealousy and hate and makes them a target...unless it looks like Suzette might take it. Good strategy, because you never can tell. The only problem is that they have to go before Suzette gets her turn. So they have to put in a good time. Peter fails at mazes, but Alec really books it. Talla gets so confused she eventually gives up. Hey, I told you it was confusing. Then its Suzette's turn. You know what's funnier than a fat woman racing through a narrow maze? Nothing. Seems like Alec and Peter had nothing to worry about after all. Emmett and Jillian put in good times. AJ was more concerned with coming up with a one-liner. This time he used, "It's like a maze in here". Everyone laughed.

It's Alec who wins with the best time and becomes the new HOH, along with 10,000 bucks and the extra reward. They give Alec the car keys again and tell him to go see. Oh my God! Are they actually going to do it? Are they really going to give him the car? it's just a video message from his Mom. Told you so. Alec gets all teary-eyed and says he misses his family. I think he was just disappointed they didn't give him the car. One thing's for sure...Alec sure doesn't look like his Mom.

Alec shows off his HOH room. Since he got a video message from his Mom, his letter is from his good friend who tells him about a bet on how long it would be before Alec started going shirtless.

Then, just as Alec and Peter predicted, it begins. Jealousy and hate reartheir ugly heads. Seems like Andrew is none-too-happy about getting the short end of last week's HOH. Alec let Andrew win, but the second HOH in a double eviction week only lasts about 20 minutes. He didn't get his own HOH room or luxury items. He didn't even get the complimentary ass-kissing from the other house guests. No. He didn't get any of it. And now...that back-stabbing Alec wins HOH. Gets the room. Gets the luxury items. Gets the ass-kissing. Even if it is just Suzette doing the kissing. Doesn't matter. And to top it all off...he gets TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS!!! What the hell is that all about? BASTARD. Why that son-of-a-bitch!

And then there's Peter who says...if it comes down to just Alec and me in the final, everybody is going to look at Alec and say, well he already won $10,000, so lets give it to Peter.

The Nominations for Eviction ceremony is no surprise at all. It's AJ and Suzette, with Suzette as the target and poor AJ getting used like, ...well like a pawn. Again. But once again I plead with you Big more surprises, twists or special Canada-Votes-to-Save crap. Let's just let this play out and stop saving Suzette!!!

Recap of Episode 13 - Wednesday March 27, 2013

Poor Suzette. She wonders what she did to be nominated 3 times. Well, let me tell you, Suzette. Nobody wants to incessantly hear about your three kids. Nobody wants to hear about how winning Big Brother Canada will help you bring your kids on a vacation. Or when people are talking about something, you always have to turn it back to you and your problems. The more you harp on about yourself, the more the other players will want to get rid of you. I am sure Eviction Thursday didn't come quick enough. Guilt and sympathy is not a good strategy. And I still want to know in what universe are you a "Motivational Speaker"? That's what was in her bio...I just don't get that.

Alec and Peter double up in the Diary Room, and it couldn't be funnier. Alec notices the volume of Peter's voice in there and says the walls really are soundproof. Then he does an impersonation of Peter which was spot-on.

Emmett tells us again that his new final two alliance is with Jillian. As if we or the house guests couldn't tell. Seems like their relationship has taken a giant leap forward in this last week without the evil Tom around. They are just going to lay low and follow along with the majority. Emmett warns Jillian not to tell Andrew anything.

Talla gives Topaz a bikini wax and the screams reverberate throughout the house. Of course it's Gary who goes to investigate. he runs into the room and goes, "Woh!!!", then yells downstairs "Who wants to see Topaz' (BLEEP) get waxed?" Then he sits down with them and watches. And when I say watches, he was right in there, like he was dissecting a frog in high school biology. Topaz says, "If I find out Gary's really straight, there's going to be some problems". 

The POV competition is called "Cabin Fever". The players are Alec, AJ and Suzette, along with Gary, Emmett and Jillian. Peter is the host and does his best impression of a Hillbilly. They have to use a tin can attached to the top of their heads to catch cold water, run across the grass, climb a ladder and fill a Thermometer container. Or as Hillbilly Pete calls it, a Ther-Mo-Meter. Well I guess you have to envision that with a hillbilly twang. But there are holes punched in the can, and Pete warns to watch the wet grass, or it will "Git slicker than Snot on a glass doorknob". Besides playing for POV, the winner will also get a one week Slop Pass. Heehaw!!! Of course, Suzette can't get the hang of it, and she is hoping that Gary wins it for her. See, there's that attitude. Self pity is a bummer. Gary gives it a good try, but Emmett wins it. Kind of wonder if Gary threw it so that he wouldn't feel obligated to save her and make himself a target.

Ah, Marsha. This week her challenge pick is AJ. AJ is perplexed at first that the moose is talking to him. Did these people never see that moose in front of the Diary Room, and wonder about it? Have they never seen the Country Bears Jamboree at Disney World? It kind of sticks out like a sore thumb. Anyways, Marsha tasks AJ with suckering 2 house guests to help him with his obstacle course because he is going to make a workout DVD. Okay. In case you haven't seen AJ working out, well, its effort-less. Not effortless, but effort-less, as in there is no effort at all. Somehow Talla, Topaz and Andrew help him out. Maybe they suspected something was up. AJ wins a Summer BBQ Pool Party. Then Talla gets drunk.

The POV Ceremony. Emmett tells Suzette he doesn't like her gameplay which consists of using guilt trips, and chooses not to use the POV to save anyone. What a shocker. He wants Suzette gone. Suzette doesn't think she's done anything wrong or that she's been guilt trippin' anyone. Wow. Just call her Mrs. Oblivious. 

Recap of Episode 14 - Thursday March 28, 2013

The episode starts where it left off the night before. Emmett goes to talk with Mrs. Oblivious who is upstairs crying. He tries again to explain why people don't like her gameplay - translation: they just find her annoying. Holy crap, I find her annoying, and I haven't been locked in a house with her for over a month. She still doesn't get it. In the Diary Room, she has to say it yet again...."I have three children at home". I want to reach into the TV and bitch slap her. Everyone else in the house is single and they don't want to hear about this kind of crap. Several times now either Emmett or Alec have talked to her. If she would just snap out of the constant "three kids at home" sympathy talk, and actually played the game, she wouldn't be on the block. Play the game and make a deal. She knows it's Alec and Peter who are ruling the house. Keep quiet, lay low, make a deal. When Alec, Peter or whoever else sits down to "be honest" with her, they are waiting for an offer. I really don't know why she is there.

Seems like the whatever-mance between Alec and Topaz is on shaky ground. Topaz ignores the morning wake-up alarm by wearing Alec's headphones. Big Brother keeps the alarm going until all the HGs are out of bed. Standard practice. Obviously, everyone is getting pissed off. Then Big Brother punishes Topaz by taking away Alec's iPod and headphones. Oh yeah, that makes sense. Big Brother is starting to sound more like Big Momma. "If you don't get out of bed right away and get to school, I'm going to take away that iPod!". This gets The Shield + One (Alec, Peter and Emmett) riled up enough to suggest Topaz as the next eviction target. Alec is perfectly willing to put an end to the Showmance-Sham. But, Topaz talks to Gary, then runs to Alec with an apology. The showmance continues for now, which may prove to be a good thing.

Big Brother arranges a "Date Night" for the two eviction nominees, AJ and Suzette. They have to invite another couple...2 HGs who aren't involved in a showmance. They pick Talla and Peter. Everyone else must play roles in this makeshift dinner theatre. Of course the waiters are Jacques (Emmett) and Ricardo (Alec) - both shirtless except for a bow-tie. Dinner, Chippendale style. 

Then there is a pinata. And it's shaped like a treasure chest. Wouldn't that automatically tell you that there just may be something besides candy in there? Like some kind of Big Brother reward? While everyone else is gathering up the candy, Gary notices a piece of paper and picks it up. A-ha! Lo and behold, Gary has won a special Veto power. he can replace one POV player with another. So if Gary wants to win the next POV comp, he can replace anyone with Talla. Not exactly a guaranteed game-changer. Unless Topaz nominates The Shield and Gary wants the nominees to stand.

Eviction Ceremony. You know, I am going to go out on a limb here and make a crazy prediction. I think they are going to vote Suzette out. Sure enough, Suzette is out of there with a vote of 6 to 1. Bye bye Suzette. Don't go away mad, just go away. When she talks to Arisa, she brings up the fact yet again that she has 3 kids at home. Well now you can go back home and take care of them. Believe it or not, they need you.

So boring!!! Quick, we need an HOH competition. And it's another memory quiz. They have to answer if "event A" occurred before or after "event B". Easy, right? Yeah sure, it starts out easy enough, with questions that even I could answer. Then it kind of gets stupid with events so trivial that ANY answer would just be a guess. Looks like everyone but Andrew, Topaz and Talla took a dive on one question all at once. Then it was just a matter of odds, 50-50 for each question. Before or After...nobody knew. Andrew guessed wrong, so it's just Topaz and Talla. Talla? Isn't that proof right there? They prove that taking a guess is just a real crap shoot...Talla misses, of course. Topaz is the new HOH. Peter doesn't look too happy. Is it because he wanted Topaz out this week, or is he kind of afraid she might nominate him for eviction? Does The Shield have to work some big strategy here and call in some favours? 

Thursday, 21 March 2013

Big Brother Canada Recap of Week 4

Recap of Live Feeds: (Spoilers)

  • The live feeds have been on and off since Friday morning.
  • Apparently Emmett cheated during Thursday's "Bees Knees" HOH competition - he carried some of the "pollen" balls in his hands, despite the V/O warning from Arisa. He was disqualified and a new HOH comp was won by Gary. Emmett was not allowed to compete.
  • Liza has been "outed"...the HGs are aware of her strategy - using all the guys.
  • Peter is aware of Liza's manipulation and feels like a fool.
  • Nominees for Eviction are Tom and Liza
  • Alec wins POV comp. Tom pressured Alec to take him off the block, but Alec chose to let the nominations stand.
  • Tom is distancing himself from Liza.
You can read the Huffington Post article HERE

Recap of Episode 9: Sunday, March 17, 2013 - Big Brother Rule Number 1: Never hold your balls on national TV

With Emmett winning the HOH, the Quatro and their womenfolk are rejoicing. The only burr in Emmett's side is Liza...she's too controlling. She controls Tom. But its becoming evident that she is playing all the guys. Emmett warns Tom not to spill Quatro's beans to her. Emmett shows off his HOH room and his luxury items. His letter from home includes his Mom telling him she likes Gary, his brother saying to be careful about the showmance, and his father saying something about playing respectfully. Interesting.

Suddenly the front door opens and in pops a munchkin direct from Emerald City. Sorry, wrong cultural reference. I guess he's supposed to be a leprechaun. Saints be praised!!! Then some more people dressed in green which we are supposed to believe are Irish, including one guy who's as drunk as, well, an Irishman. Jesus Murphy, I'm offended. I am, after all one forth Irish. And what kind of Irish Jig was that? Have they never seen Riverdance? It seems to me there is a double standard going on here. I mean, Passover is coming up...why didn't they have a Rabbi parade? If it was Gay Pride Day, would they have a parade? Okay forget that one. If it was Martin Luther King Jr. Day, would they have had a parade of African Americans? Okay maybe I'm pushing it, but you see where I'm coming from? I regress.

Topaz, in a moment of self-realizing regret, points out that everyone should have been keeping track of what was going on in the parade...because this is Big Brother after all, and it will probably be part of the Have-not competition. Everyone starts reviewing the events in their wee little brains. Sure enough...

Then an announcement by Big Bro, " House guests...please go to the living room". Oh oh. What's up with that? Big Bro continues, "Four of you were caught cheating in the Bees Knees HOH competition". Yeah yeah. Hey Big Brother, we already know. Everybody knows. All of Canada knows. Even some over-zealous Big Brother American fans know. We saw it last Thursday night. Stop being so dramatic. Everyone tries to look innocent. Gary says, "They punish people for that?" Then the video evidence is shown to the HGs. The four numbskulls who cheated were Talla, Jillian, Alec and....Emmett. They are this week's Have-nots. Hah! You idiots forgot the number 1 Big Brother rule - never hold your balls in a live competition. Oh yeah there is one more little thing, Emmett is no longer HOH. There will be a new competition and the four ball-holding cheaters will not compete. Neither will Tom. Basically, Tom is screwed. He says his only hope is Liza, which as far as he knows is wrong. Remember, he thinks he still has the Quatro...what's wrong with Peter?

All this drama. But it makes me wonder, what if the HOH competition wasn't "Live"? What if it was edited? Would the production have overlooked it and allowed Emmett to remain as HOH if Canada hadn't put up such a fuss? You bet.

Sure enough the HOH Comp re-do is a trivia challenge based on that shameful so-called "Irish Parade". Suzette bolts into the lead then decides to throw the competition because she doesn't want to become a target again as HOH. So even though Topaz spilled the beans, seems the only one with enough brains is Gary. He is the new HOH and to say he's happy about it is an understatement. Actually, there is no word in existence to describe how happy Gary is. Magical blue glitter. 

Poor, poor Emmett. Alone in his HOH room. Packing up his stuff. Reading that damn letter from his family. What did Dad say about respect? Shit. He's right again. Then he goes to the Have-not room and throws himself down on the bed. Cheer up, Emmett. At least Jillian is a Have-not too. So you can get a hand job under the blankets every night. Much to the dismay of their fellow roommates Talla and Alec....perhaps they can get some noise-cancelling earphones in there. Going to need them. If it was me, I would hose those two down when they started up. At least get a bucket of slop to throw on them.

Emmett and Topaz talk about Liza and what a liar she is. They have noticed Liza playing all the guys, and they think she has a secret alliance with Peter. Who comes walking in but Peter. Oh oh. They point out to Peter that Liza is playing him, so he has to cover his butt. He plays the sympathy card...Liza is just using him like all other women do. It looks like it works.

Gary LOVES his HOH room. Pink feathers and blue glitter. His letter is from his Mom and sis who tell him not to wear so much makeup. The camera zooms in on his glitter eyes. Too late, Mom! Gary takes his new found HOH leadership like the Queen rules England. He is sick of the little people getting stepped on. He really wants to shake things up. He has an audience with each of his subjects. He's taking names. Peter tells him to go after the pairs...the showmances because they are the dangerous ones.

Eviction Nomination: Gary nominates Tom and Liza. He quickly points out that he is after Liza and that Tom is just a pawn. Gary is returning the situation that Tom put him in last week. And yet, Tom is mad, because Gary promised him he wouldn't. Tom is just a hot-tempered A-hole. It will probably lead to his ruin or someone will use it to their advantage. Like Emmett, who told Gary to put up Tom. And lets not forget that this week is a double eviction. And why is it that Suzette has really dodged another bullet and come out of this mess with her ass smelling like roses?

Recap of Episode 10 Wednesday March 20, 2012 The Revenge of the Nerds

This episode was all about watching Tom and Liza squirm and Gary definitely getting his revenge. Emmett explains that Tom is a complete emotional player and that there is no strategy in his game. he tells Gary he will take the heat from Tom because he's the one who told Gary to put up Tom and Liza. Emmett wants Liza out. I'm sure Gary already had that one figured out though.

Liza tries her damnedest to suck up to Gary, "I have no hard feelings". Right. Gary more or less tells her she is gone. She loses her temper a bit but counters with telling him she had his back. Gary's diary room confession is terrific...he does an impersonation of Tom as a muscle bound ape. Priceless. And he's right.

Emmett says "Tom is on the dark side now" because he keeps protecting Liza. He asks Tom if his alliance is with him or Liza. Tom says his alliance is with Emmett 100%, but Emmett's not convinced. Then he makes a big mistake. He tells Tom that he went to Gary about putting up Tom and Liza. Tom is not happy he wasn't told about being a pawn. He's a blindsided pawn. Then Alec tries to set Tom straight by telling him he would have gone to Liza about it. He's hoping Tom won't tell Liza about the existence of The Quatro. Good luck with that.

Gary tells the HGs about Canada's vote - The Have-nots have to give pedicures to the haves. Alec gives Tom and Suzette pedicures. Gary is extremely excited about Emmett massaging his feet. He says the future Mrs. Emmett will be a very lucky woman - massages, pedicures and he's sure Emmett can really put it down.

The POV Competition is the Big Brother Bonspiel, or human curling. The six players - Gary, Tom, Liza, Alec, Jillian and AJ must use the remaining 6 HGs, sitting on blocks of ice, as curling rocks. Poor Gary, he gets Suzette as his rock. Hardly fair when Tom gets someone like Talla who weighs 96 pounds. Alec has no intention of winning, but finds he must put some effort into it to insure that Liza and Tom don't win POV. In the final round, its Alec, Tom and Gary. Alec wins. He had to since Gary couldn't or maybe wouldn't go for the win.

Oh and what's this? Alec and Peter, aka The Shield, are talking to Gary. Seems like Gary went to the guys with a perfect plan to get Tom out of the house. Alec and Pete tell Gary they will appear to be campaigning for a Liza vote. but don't worry, its all just a rouse. They give each other the "Nyah Ha Ha" evil mastermind laugh.

Of course, Alec decides not to save Tom at the POV Ceremony.

Now Tom is suspecting something's up. Maybe he's not just the blindsided pawn. Maybe he is the real target everyone is trying to blindside. He's also thinking even his own alliance is trying to get rid of him. So what is a hothead like Tom supposed to do about that? Why, he's going to make sure he screws them over good. "Karma's a bitch", he says. So, he tells Liza about Quatro. I don't think Tom understands what karma is. This is revenge...this is back-stabbing, not karma. Karma is a force that balances things out. He's not just a hothead, he's a stupid hothead. Perhaps the worst kind.

But then this week isn't just the regular eviction, it's going to be a double eviction.

Recap of Episode 11: Thursday March 21, 2013 - Fast and Furious

This episode went so fast, there was time for only one sequence of interaction between the housequests. It was a doozy. Tom is on a bit of a rampage, and is looking for what he defines as fun vengeance. He goes into the bathroom and opens the shower door on Alec in full view of the camera, of course. Alec is not amused. In fact, he's acting like an assault victim, knowing that there will be naked footage all over the internet...and although it was quick, people can always freeze frame it. Alec says Tom is a bully, and doesn't have a conscience. Topaz goes ballistic on wasn't just a prank, it was personal because Alec didn't use his POV to save him. So you have to wonder, what the hell is wrong with this guy? Nothing like giving everyone in the house additional reasons to vote you out.

So that was that. Arisa addresses the HGs who have gathered in the living room, and tells them there is another twist - this will be the first Double Eviction. And off we go...everybody hold on.

The first eviction was really no surprise. Tom was evicted with a vote of 8 to 1 (Emmett was the only one to vote for Liza, so that tells us he was pretty much kept out of the loop or he wanted to appear to be true to his alliance). Loved the recorded goodbye from Peter, which is always amusing...."Don't worry about Liza, I'll keep her warm". Snap. I'm surprised he didn't tell Tom that he was a victim of The Shield. What a missed opportunity.

The new HOH Competition was a series of 1-on-1 questions based upon the outcomes of previous comps. Won't go into specifics, but it came down to Alec vs Andrew in the final, with Alec giving it up to Andrew.

The new HOH, Andrew, had only the commercial break to nominate two for eviction. He didn't consult anyone, but it was no surprise that Liza was nominated with Suzette as a pawn. 

The POV Comp was called Kid in a Candy Store. It was between Andrew, Liza, Suzette, Peter, AJ and Emmett, and it was another memory challenge. They had to put the first five losing HGs from the Lumber Jack and Jill Comp (the 1st HOH comp) in order...but had to chew gum, race to the board on bounce balls and use the chewed gum to paste the HG's pic. Phew. A whole lot of trouble for nothing, because we just knew that unless Liza won she was going to be walking out the door. Well she didn't. Emmett won and got a chance for his own revenge. Of course he chose not to use the POV. And get this, Liza was eliminated by an unanimous 8 to 0. Yippee!!!

Once again, Peter's recorded goodbye was the best, "It's a shame you didn't choose brains over brawn, cos now your gone".

There was no time for the week 5 HOH competition. That will be shown Sunday. The live feeds are down until Friday night, presumably during the HOH competition filming. Maybe it's an endurance challenge?

Thursday, 14 March 2013

Big Brother Canada Recap: Week 3

Recap from Live feeds during the week (spoilers):

  • HOH Tom has nominated Gary and Suzette, with no backdoor eviction planned - he is afraid Gary would win the POV again and save Suzette with it. This way, at least one of them would be evicted.
  • Gary and Topaz have made their alliance official. It's the Secret Wedding. Oh oh...looks like this might mean trouble for The Quatro - seems like they are already questioning Tom's allegiance.
  • Someone messes with one of the cameras...Big Bro is NOT HAPPY at all, and he is taking it out on everyone. He is making them do extra challenges, even waking them in their sleep. The HGs are going to get a little grumpy.
  • Have-Not Competition: the losers this week are Aneal, Jillian, Topaz and Alec.
  • Jillian, who should be sleeping in the have-nots bedroom only, was caught sleeping in the main bedroom with Emmett. This showmance is getting out of control, which makes you think it was Emmett and Jillian that messed with one of the cameras. The other HGs are getting annoyed at this. Is this another threat to The Quattro? 
  • Tom has been considering keeping Gary around another week. He has been asking others if they would save Gary if they win the POV. He is considering AJ or Andrew as replacement nominees.
  • Power of Veto Ceremony: Tom uses POV to save Gary. He names AJ as the replacement nominee.

Recap of Episode 6: Sunday, March 10, 2013

As soon as Tom wins HOH, Suzette heads to the storage room and has a meltdown in front of Topaz, Alec, Aneal and Gary - in the words of Peter, she steals Tom's thunder. I guess she didn't have enough of her own. She accuses Aneal of being a backstabber, then he points out that she voted for him at the last eviction. Suzette and Gary know they will be put on the chopping block this week. At this point Tom wants the vote to be tied so he gets to pick Gary for eviction. But...

Topaz gets involved. First she talks to Alec, of course, about saving Gary. He tells her not to fall on a sword for anyone. Hmmm. Then she goes to HOH Tom and tells him Suzette is actually the bigger threat, because she will come after him. Tom says he will talk to Gary, presumably to strike a deal.

Have/Have-Not Competition. The HGs are divided into 3 teams of 4. One Team member must wear a giant basket around their waist, and catch large nerf apples shot by slingshot. Gary, Emmett, Andrew and AJ win...thanks to Gary's blue glitter. Maybe I will do to Dollarama and get some blue glitter. Aneal, Jillian, Topaz and Alec in the green team lose, but this week they are allowed to have Beaver Tails and poutine along with their slop. What will Jillian and Emmett do now that they can't sleep in the same rooms? Interesting.

Someone tampered with one of the cameras and Big Bro is upset. He punishes all the HGs by putting them through a challenge every so often. This goes on all night - among the challenges: forming a human pyramid; everyone cramming into the 2 shower stalls; brushing each others' teeth; jumping jacks/jumping in the pool; dance marathon; and forming a chain of kitchen stuff arranged from smallest to largest. Pete in the Diary Room said he had fun doing it and even more fun watching everyone being miserable. Did he do it? Or was it Jillian and Emmett who messed with a camera so the could have wild monkey sex in a corner somewhere?

Gary and Topaz sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. No, of course not. Gary and Topaz laying in the hammock...I won't try for a rhyming word. Topaz tells Gary to go to Tom and have a talk...offer to save him in exchange for doing Tom's dirty work. Then they make their alliance official and name it the Secret Wedding. Sure enough Gary goes to Tom. Sure enough they strike a deal. Tom will put Gary on the block but he is after Suzette. 

Eviction Nominations: Gary and Suzette. But watch out, the rest of the week will be a rough ride for Tom. There's a twist: Canada gets to vote on a second POV on Thursday Night. 

Recap of Episode 7: Wednesday March 13, 2013

Tom has turned into a megalomaniac it seems. A regular Dr. Evil. And nobody likes it. Suzette's only mission at this point is to let all of Canada see what kind of asshole he is. His own alliance (The Quatro) is turning against him.

Oh and what do we have here? It's Pete and Liza holding hands on the couch. But just for a sec...too dangerous if anyone sees. They each think the other is the most interesting person in the universe. But I love Pete's DR confession. Most of his time in the house is spent separating authentic from the inauthentic. The problem is "the inauthentic is turning me on". Wow. That either means he's loving the back-stabbbing strategy or he is enjoying the ass-kissing from Liza. Probably both. They both agree to start playing dirty soon. Not with each other (well maybe that too) but against other people. Pete enjoys seeing the others squirm. I can't wait. Please Pete...don't get distracted with Liza....stay on target!!!

The red phone rings and Andrew answers. His challenge is to make the most foul-tasting meal he can but get just one person to compliment him on it. Gary says, "The meal was gross! It was gross, gross, gross! <BURP> I mean even my burps smell so disgusting that I want to vom!" But...Tom likes it...really. What is this guy used to eating? Hamburger Helper? Taco Bell? Big Macs? Everyone gets a reward of pizza and beer. We learn that when Talla gets drunk, she turns into a stripper. Tonight she gives a lapdance to Aneal. Then she apologizes to her Mom. Is this now some kind of trend? Get plastered on national TV then apologize to your Mom? Welcome to the "Sorry Mom Club" Talla. You are the newest member. Meet Ashley Palenkas from The Bachelor - Sean Lowe. 

Gary tells us he has an alter ego which emerges just before challenges. His name is Gerald. Gerald is one of those guys who are all athletic and likes girls. gerald has a girlfriend called Lisa...not Liza.  Gerald is one of those guys who wears baseball caps and says "I gotta take a piss"....or opens the fridge and asks "where's the fucking tomatoes?". I hope Gerald never finds out that Gary puts blue glitter war paint on him....because I think Gerald might just be the kind of guy who would beat the crap out of Gary for it.

The POV Challenge is called "Puck Off" - the players have to answer trivia questions for a chance at a slapshot to break pics of the other players and knock them out of the competition. Tom draws Topaz; Gary draws Aneal and Suzette draws Liza. Here's how it went down:

Aneal aims at Suzette but takes out Gary.
Topaz takes out Liza.
Suzette aims at Tom but takes out...herself.
Tom takes out Topaz.
Tom takes out Aneal.

Suzette turns to Tom and says "you got your wish, you fucking redneck". Nice. Mind you, she claims to be a radio host and a motivational speaker. Now, it seems to me that those jobs require some mad skills...but sorry Suzette, you just don't cut it. What kind of freaks are you inspiring with those skills? Has anyone actually paid you for those skills? I mean like real money, and not just trading babysitting time for it? Honey, you're still young...go back to school. Oh and can I just say one more thing? Don't act like that when you have young kids, because it will get back to them one way or another. Always.

Later, after she has had time to motivate herself, Suzette decides to apologize to everyone...and then Tom. Everyone clears the room. She apologizes to him but its too little too late. Plus it's not going to work on Tom aka Dr. Evil. He already thinks he's won the game. Little does he know...

Alec and Pete (The Shield) are already considering backdooring Tom next week...or as soon as they can. They don't trust him. Alec is afraid of Liza finding out, but Pete tells him, "I have her". (Don't worry any of you Pete/Liza - lets call them Piza for now - supporters out there. Pete told Liza).

Tom convinces AJ to be a pawn replacement for Gary. AJ agrees to it...he says "AJ's the safest pawn in BB history". Oh Oh. That can't be good. And what's up with AJ referring to himself in the 3rd person in the diary room confessions? Wow. 

POV Ceremony: Well at least Tom puts his money where his mouth is. He saves Gary, and puts up AJ. He doesn't suspect a thing. He doesn't know of the big twist...Canada is voting on their own POV tonight. It's called the "Chevrolet Power Shift". Will they save Suzette or AJ? Sorry I don't know if that means the other is instantly eliminated or if there will be another replacement. The link to vote is HERE

Recap of Episode 8: Thursday March 14, 2013 - "Live" Eviction

So who did Canada vote to save? If only Tom knew about this "massive twist", he could have just left Gary up, because for sure he would have been saved. And what's going to happen after that? Who will Tom put up as replacement number 2 this week...

We start off with Liza explaining her's to be close with ALL the boys. Excellent. Smart. Or is it? Tom starts to notice Liza spending time with Andrew. This turns Tom, aka Dr. Evil, into a raging ball-sack of testosterone. Looks like Andrew is now number one on Tom's hit list. This tips Alec and Emmett off again that Tom is thinking too much with his lower head...he's a puppet and Liza is controlling the strings. This in turn gets Peter on the defensive and he runs to Liza to tip her off that her name is being mentioned for eviction.

Meanwhile, AJ is talking to Tom. AJ says he's not even a pawn. Tom says he's a seat-filler for the eviction vote. But with absolutely no strategy or gameplay, perhaps AJ is just a seat-filler, period.

Okay, here we go. The HGs are all gathered in the living room and Arisa breaks the news to them. "Houseguests....there is a massive twist...thousands and thousands of Canadians voted...they voted to save...Suzette. Shit. And Tom is visibly fuming. He's really pissed. Now he has to put up another HG as replacement, and he only has the time during the commercial break. He runs to the storage room with Emmett. Andrew? Tom's jealousy might be in control. But wait for it...he names Aneal. Poor Aneal. Despite being a superfan, Aneal just hasn't managed to stay out of trouble. This time, however, the HGs vote to evict Aneal 8 to 2. Only Jillian and Liza vote for AJ.

HOH Competition is called "The Bees Knees". They have to go from flower to flower and collect pollen...yellow, red and blue balls in pockets on their legs. Oh yeah, did I mention they are all wearing very large bumble bee costumes? Yeah, even Suzette. But its Emmett that takes the win and is the new HOH for week 4.

Next week, a new massive twist...double eviction. Suzette's days are numbered for sure. But will Emmett have enough balls to back-door Liza? I will post spoilers from the live feeds as they become available.

Monday, 11 March 2013

Season 17 Sean Lowe - Contestants List and Current Status


Catherine Giudici, 26 years old. Seattle, Washington. Visual Designer. 

Eliminated in Finale:

Lindsay Yenter. 24 years old. Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri. Substitute Teacher. 

Eliminated Episode 9:
Ashlee Frazier, 32 years old. Houston, Texas. Personal Organizer.

Eliminated Episode 8:
Desiree Hartsock, 26 years old. Los Angeles, California. Bridal Stylist.

Eliminated Episode 7:

Lesley Murphy, 24 years old. Washington, D.C. Democratic Lobbyist.
Tierra LiCausi, 24 years old. Denver, Colorado. Real Estate/Leasing Director.

Eliminated Episode 6: 

Daniella McBride, 24 years old. San Francisco, California. Commercial Casting Associate.
Sarah Herron, 25 years old. Marina Del Rey, California. Jr. Art Director.
Selma Alameri, 28 years old. San Diego, California. Owner/CEO Brio Ventures.

Eliminated Episode 5:

Jackie (or Jakie) Parr, 26 years old. Boynton Beach, Florida. Makeup Artist. 
Robyn Howard, 24 years old. Houston, Texas. Account Manager, Baker Hughes.

Eliminated Episode 4:

Amanda Meyer, 26 years old. Newport Beach, California. Model.
Leslie Hughes, 29 years old. Studio City, California. Actress.

Eliminated Episode 3:

Kacie Boguskie, 25 years old. Clarksville, Tennessee. Administrative Assistant. Previously appeared on The Bachelor Season 16 - Ben Flajnik. Eliminated in 8th episode (hometown dates), 4th place. 
Kristy Kaminski, 25 years old. Darien, Wisconsin. Regional Director, ViSalus.
Taryn Renee Daniels, 30 years old. Troutdale, Oregon. Fitness Director. 

Eliminated Episode 2:

Katie Levans, 27 years old. Charlotte, North Carolina. Yoga Instructor, Blogger (leaves voluntarily)
Diana Weeks Willardson, 31 years old. Sandy, Utah. Owner/Stylist, Salon Shag.
Brooke Burchette, 25 years old. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Community Organizer.

Eliminated Episode 1
Ashley H, 25 years old. Denver, Colorado. Fashion Model.
Ashley Palenkas, 27 years old. Macomb, Michigan. Hairstylist.
Kelly Dutton, 28 years old. Nashville, Tennessee. Cruise Ship Singer/Dancer.
KeriAnn Miranda, 29 years old. Boca Raton, Florida. Entrepreneur.
Lacey Latka, 24 years old. Stevenson Ranch, California. Grad Student.
Lauren Marchetti. 27 years old. Providence, Rhode Island. TV Anchor/Cheerleader New England Patriots.
Paige Vigil, 24 years old. New York, N.Y. Jumbo Tron Operator. Previously appeared on Bachelor Pad 3 as a "Superfan" and was eliminated in Episode 1.  

Tuesday, 5 March 2013

The Bachelor 17 Recap of The Women Tell All

So, has AshLee taken to stalking Sean? Or does she just spend every waking moment burning pictures of him with those laser eyes of hers? Has darling Sarah found a man who thinks she will make him a good wife? Has Ashley Palenkas sobered up yet? Has Lesley found some other guy to kiss? Did Desiree go home and beat the living snot out of her trailer trash brother? All good questions but forget that crap, all I want to know is has Thunder Thighs Tierra found her sparkle again and has she worked on controlling that sentient eyebrow of hers? Did she get that heart tattoo closed up now that she is engaged, and what kind of fracking loser asked her to marry him? But most important of all...has Sean finally found a shirt that fits?

Well tonight is the night we find out the answers to all our burning questions.

Part One: The Tierra Show (Reprised)

Yeah, that's right, seems this season was so boring that they had to spend the better part of the first hour with the Tierra story, one....more....time. Geez. Before she took the stage, Chris asked the women if they thought she was fake. Of course there was an overwhelming agreement: YES!!! Then Chris said, "Let's give her a chance to cry, feign an injury, um speak." We hear the standard excuse that has become the hallmark of every season's "villain" - "I didn't want to be friends with them (the other girls)"..."I went there to find a piece that is missing from my life and that was to find love". This time, this excuse just doesn't work.  Then, it's on to what Chris Harrison refers to as the battle of St. Croix.

Oh boy, I can't wait to see that one. I've heard such great reviews for it. "The Battle of St. Croix: A Very Bloody Affair - A Film by Ken Burns". Surrounded by the enemy and out of ammunition,the idealistic young woman was determined to give her life for her beliefs. She yelled, "fix bayonets" and charged the older, wiser and matronly commander. Come on...the battle of St. Croix? Give me a break. Once again, It was everybody's fault except her. To AshLee..."I asked you if you said something about me to Sean. You lied when you answered no". AshLee calls her out on it, and Selma tells her she can only use that excuse so much. Then Chris asks her the really hard-hitting questions: (I'm paraphrasing)

Chris: What's up with the eyebrow?
Tierra: Who cares about my eyebrow?
Chris: America cares!

Chris: What about your sparkle?
Tierra: I was Little Miss Nevada. My Dad always told me I had sparkle.

Chris: So, you're engaged? When did that happen?
Tierra: January.
Chris: Everyone is saying it's a hoax.
Tierra: It's real...I've got a good man.

Wow, so she was the Honey Boo Boo of her day. Maybe she's just jealous that she didn't get her own TV show called "Here Comes Tierra Sparkle". And just what kind of fricking idiot of a guy would ask this one to marry him? Is he deaf, dumb and blind? Hey wait a minute, is his name Manti Te'o?

And thus, the Age of Thunder Thighs Tierra ends. She's destined to become a legend and join the ranks of other great villains in history...Courtney, Vienna, What's-his-name from Ali's season and What's-his-name from What's-her-name's season.

Part Two: The Rest of the Show.

...was for the most part, boring and predictable. Desiree defended her family. Everyone teared up with Sarah's story. AshLee said Sean was a perfect Southern gentleman with her but seemed more like a frat boy with the others. She said she was no longer in love with Sean...she knew in that moment it was over and it was time to move on. This totally contradicts what she later says to Sean. When Sean is brought in and AshLee joins him on stage, he tells her that he was looking for his best friend...someone to have fun with. Gee. So basically he was saying AshLee is a real downer. Yeah, that's certainly how she was portrayed. All that talk of being abandoned, being an orphan, marrying as a teenager, and the trust issues? I am sure there was more than one viewer party where they played a game of taking a shot whenever AshLee mentions one of her "issues". So I really think Sean made a good choice there and dodged the proverbial bullet.

But then...a shocker. AshLee asks Sean when he changed his mind about her, specifically bringing up Sean telling her on her overnight/fantasy date that...get this... he told her that he had no feelings for the other two girls (Lindsay and Catherine). Twice. Hmmn, sounds like maybe something...ahem...went down. He denies it. But AshLee is persistent. She just won't let it go. He keeps denying. To me, there is just something off with her sincerity. Just a vibe I am getting from her. Really, what woman is going to say something like this on TV? It kind of fits with the whole stalking personna she has. She also brings up Sean not "coming to check on her after she was eliminated". This makes no sense either. They even show the two discussing it during the break in filming. I'm just calling B.S. on this. Perhaps it was thrown in to add some drama that wasn't Tierra-centric, or to use it to build interest for AshLee as the next Bachelorette, I don't know. And I certainly hope the latter is NOT the case. I'm really hoping It's going to be Desiree. AshLee just has this "creep factor". Pretty, yes. But creepy.

They showed bloopers which were amusing. Then a review of the F2 - Catherine and Lindsay, and a preview of the finale next week. They are really over-dramatizing it. Including that damned shot of that letter. Still going with it being from Catherine. Maybe his Mom or Shay. Or Des. Crap, it's not from AshLee the Stalker, is it? No, I think the producers just need to increase viewer interest in Catherine. Definitely Cat. Right?

Monday, 4 March 2013

Big Brother Canada Recap of Week 2

Episode 3: Sunday, March 3, 2013 - "Slop is Not Fun"

The HOH competition proves that yoga is an endurance sport. Apparently Jillian does yoga and it has paid off for her...she has "strong legs". At the end, its between her and Talla. Talla asks Jillian if she would be her target, and Jillian tells her she is safe and that "I never go back on my word". We'll see how long Jillian can keep up such high morals. Talla eliminates herself and Jillian wins HOH.

The first have-not competition, called "Batter Up", begins with Jillian dressed as a big fried egg. Pretty. The HGs divide up into groups of 4 with Suzette sitting it out. Thank God. They have to fill a giant waffle iron with batter. Do they use giant ladles? Oh no...they have to jump into a giant vat of batter and their teammates have to scrape the batter onto the griddle. I think everyone was thankful Suzette wasn't playing. Hey, maybe they thought any team with her on it would have an unfair advantage. The green team loses - Alec, Tom, Talla and Peter get to eat slop for a week and stay in the seedy motel themed Have-Not Room. Peter calls the room "magical", sarcastically of course. Talla says slop is "not fun". Thank you Miss Obvious.

Everyone starts campaigning their own strategy with Jillian about who to nominate. The major play is by Aneal - he tries to plant mistrust of Tom in Jillian's head. He tells her Tom is in a secret guy's alliance with Emmett, Peter and Alec, and that each of them "have a girl attached to them", so that they will have a majority vote. Her interest is peaked, but the guys get to her and turn the tables on Aneal. Jillian ends up nominating Gary and Aneal. She explains: Gary, because he is a very strong, social player; and Aneal because she "has learned a lot about him" and "he is the best nomination for the house".

Spoiler: Gary will win POV and save himself....Jillian will put up Danielle for the replacement nominee.

Episode 4: Wednesday March 6, 2013 - "Showmance vs. Bromance"

After the Nomination Ceremony: Gary Glitter calls Jillian a ___ bitch in the Diary Room, then looks for his veil (which is really just a flimsy sweater). He says he is going to play the game with glitter on his back. I think he has glitter on his brain. A condition that can be cured by modern medicine. Wasn't there a telethon for it? He should see a doctor. Meanwhile, Aneal is very upset. He immediately goes to Jillian after he was nominated for eviction. He starts whining and crying..."if only it was anybody else but you...wah wah...I don't even like to talk to anybody else in the house". But he tells us in the DR confession that the crying is just strategy to gain sympathy. He starts crying to everyone. Keep it up Aneal...I would vote you out just because of your bad acting skills.

Apparently, Emmett and Jillian upped their showmance as soon as Jillian became HOH. Sounds fishy on Emmett's part, kind of opportunistic. 

Funniest sequence in the episode happens when Peter heads to the Diary Room - in the hall he hears a voice coming from the funky moose head. Marsha is painted white and has gold glitter antlers. Oh my god, Gary would be so jealous. Marsha the Moose gives Peter a reward challenge. There are 3 quotes on cards which he must work into conversations with the other HGs. If anyone questions what he's talking about, he fails. As Peter goes to fetch the cards, Marsha says, "Hey Peter...what does the rest of the house look like?" The first quote is: "I have a rash in a really awkward place". Peter says this to Talla (as a possible reaction to the slop), who now thinks Peter's balls are inflamed. Great. She offers him an ointment. The second one is: "A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open seas". Liza buys it. Maybe she was just being polite. Arrr me matey. The last one is: "The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool". He tries that one with AJ, but flubs it. Then he tries it with Andrew. Success. Peter goes to Marsha who tells him the reward will come later - is the Moose just screwing with him? Oh and he is never to speak of her. Marsha also tells Peter he's cute. peter says he likes Marsha. Hey maybe Peter and Marsha will develop their own showmance. I hope we see more of Marsha.

Okay maybe that wasn't the funniest thing. What was really hilarious was Jillian confessing that she resisted kissing Emmett, because friends and family were watching. Hmmm. But apparently she didn't have any trouble screwing under the sheets or in the shower. She does know she's on Big Brother and not The Bachelor, right? Or is her favorite movie Pretty Woman - where Julia Roberts plays a hooker who won't kiss her clients? She does know there are about a million cameras in there, right? What a dumbass. Not to mention the fact that she's an Elementary School teacher. Nice example for the kiddies there Jillian. Good luck with future career options.

POV Competition. Gary Glitter readies himself with what else? Why glitter of course. Ah, the magic of glitter. He's "feeling blue glitter energy". He puts on warpaint. If only William Wallace had blue glitter, maybe he would have defeated the English instead of being dismembered and having his body parts spread all over the country. Well maybe there is something to it, because Gary wins. 

There's a birthday party for Alec. It's not his's a prank he and Peter have devised. Alec reveals his bromance/alliance since day 1 with Peter. As Alec says, "bromance before showmance" (refering to Topaz). Very interesting. He says he and Peter are the smartest people there. True so far. But what of Marsha, Peter?

Jillian talks to some of the girls, asking their opinion on who to put up as replacement nominee, a ploy to get someone, namely Danielle, to volunteer. Danielle volunteers. Tom mentions to Emmett that eventually he will have to drop Jillian..."Emmett's an honest person as long as he's thinking with the right head". Jillian talks to Liza...there should be a girls' alliance. "anything boys can do, girls can do better". Original. I was expecting them to sing "I am woman, hear me roar". Aneal has a talk with Her Highness Jillian and her Royal Consort, Emmett. He bring up the possibility that Jillian is being played. Jillian says, "Am I being played, (pause) Emmett?" Hmmm, interesting.

Marsha's reward for Peter and the HGs is a ski/hot-tub party with booze and macaroni - even for the have-nots. Suzette wears shorts. Yikes.

POV Ceremony: Gary Glitter saves himself and Jillian nominates Danielle as a replacement. Is she a pawn or will she get blind-sided? Good episode. The layers of alliances are being revealed. But we still know next to nothing about people such as Suzette, Andrew or AJ.

Current spoiler speculation is that Danielle will be the next HG evicted, based on the live feeds. 

Episode 5: Thursday, March 7, 2013 - "The Aneal Deal"

The Week 1 eviction was just a kind of go-with-the-flow eviction. This week, we are going to see who's aligned with who, and who the "floaters" are.

So Aneal thinks there is a 90% chance he is out of the door. He's gotta do something quick. Meanwhile, Pete, Emmett and Alec meet in the supply room to discuss the girls' alliance that is forming - they have to nipple, I mean nip it in the bud.

Peter reveals that his alliance with Alec, called "The Shield" is half of the alliance with Tom and Emmett...called "The Quatro". Peter and Tom want to keep their advantage going and vote out Danielle. That way, Gary Glitter will have no one and Aneal will be eating out of their hands. They strike up the "Aneal Deal".

Danielle, Suzette and Gary are still believing that Aneal is out. Slowly, Danielle is starting to believe that something is up...but she does absolutely no campaigning. Bad move even for a real pawn. Gary is getting nervous about his alliance. he goes to Jillian in the HOH room - of course Emmett is there - and tells her that the HOH is supposed to be in charge..."are you in charge, Jillian?" 

Last night, Gary rounded up the girls and had a fashion show. The guys watched as the girls and Gary walked the runway. Gary was in heaven. Alec drooled over Topaz.

Live Eviction Vote:

Alec                      Danielle
Tom                      Danielle
Topaz                   Danielle
Gary                                         Aneal
Suzette                                    Aneal
AJ                         Danielle
Liza                       Danielle
Talla                                         Aneal
Emmett                Danielle
Andrew                Danielle
Peter                    Danielle 

Danielle is evicted 8 to 3. Lots of tears from Danielle, Gary, Talla and Suzette. On her exit, Danielle says " Everybody had me believing it would be a clean vote. I think I played my best". She says she doesn't feel so bad about saying bad things about certain people in the house. The best Diary Room goodbye was from Peter: "Danielle, you're the first unofficial victim of The Quatro". 

HOH Competition: It's an opinion-based contest called "Popular Vote". The HGs have to answer how they think the majority will answer, and those who answer in the minority are out of the comp. For the most part, the HGs do pretty well, so in the end it comes down to a tiebreaker. They have to guess the number of liters of batter used in last weeks Have-Not challenge "Batter Up". It was 3,690 liters. Holy crap...what schmuck had to mix all that? Tom came closest with a guess of 1,700 and wins HOH.

So at the end of week 2, Jillian seems to be the worst HOH ever. Thinking with her vagina. I am in agreement with Marsha th Moose...I really like Peter. Seems to be the early front-runner. I like Gary, but unless he really starts campaigning harder for a girls' alliance, then he will soon be gone. Probable nominees for eviction this week will be among Gary, Suzette and Talla...or Aneal as a pawn. Tom is smart enough to save Gary for the replacement nomination.